The Slice Trap

I always eat two slices of cheese pizza from New York pizzerias and I just learned … they may be 400–500 each. This is my pizza PSA.

It’s a Big One

I was walking around Coney Island and a Great Black-backed Gull (size: between a crow and a goose) on the sidewalk was swallowing a hamburger bun whole. A lady in a ticket booth nearby, now open for the season, booms out on her microphone, “IT’S A BIG ONE, ISN’T IT?”

My heart attack? Yes, I think it is the Big One.